I can't seem to catch a break...

Sometimes I think my body hates me or is rebelling for something I did to it. What I did to it I don't know. But anyways lately I can't seem to catch a break. Here's my story:

This summer has been a good one but filled of physical pain and disease. I started it off with stepping on a nail when I was doing tornado clean up in Joplin. 30 minutes into cleaning up... not even kidding. It went pretty deep into the arch of my foot. That was painful for a couple of weeks.

Then a little while after that was gone I got MRSA on my calf! You might recall me having a bad case of MRSA last summer. This stuff is not fun and is going to be with me for the rest of my life apparently. So I was down with that the weekend of my birthday and the 4th of July into the whole week after that... I didn't get back to work or anything till the 11th of July.

So the case of MRSA was pretty intense and they had me taking SOOOOO many medications... I should be taking them still but then something else happened and this is the worst part...

(This I have to tell the whole story to do it justice) Thursday July 14th I wake up with hives covering my body. My first time breaking out in hives and it was not fun. My doctor told me tree tea oil would help keep MRSA away (every doctor has told me something different). Anyways, I had bought new body was the day before and used it. So I thought it was that. I took an allergy pill and went on to work. The hives kind of disappeared. But then in the afternoon my hands and feet started hurting and I could tell they were swelling a little bit. I was a little concerned but I had to work so I just dealt with it.

Well I worked until 9pm and my hands started hurting some. BUT it was the night of the Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part 2 premier and I was not missing that. I went to the theater and got in line. While in line I could tell my hands were getting worse. We got into the IMAX and were sitting in out seats. I was in so much pain but so determined. This was the end of Harry. I had to be there. I had to. At about 11pm I caved. My hands looked like Aunt Marge's. And I am not exaggerating. (If you know me at all you would know that they had to be HORRIBLE for me to give up on Harry and go to the ER.) My hands were deformed from the swelling. Everyone around me was scared for me. My parents were looking things up online and getting freaked out. So I did I got up and left the theater and went to the ER.

I learned something at the ER when your hands look like balloons they don't make you wait. They took me right in to be seen. My body had an allergic reaction do the antibiotics I was on. So now I am not taking the antibiotics but I am on 4 other types of pills... I have been so full of drugs lately its ridiculous. And then after they shot me up with drugs in the ER I had to lay there and lay there. They said they had to watch me to make sure my body wouldn't react to what they gave me. So I was in the ER later than I would have been if I had gotten to see the movie. Oh well. It was a good choice. The doctor did tell me that if I would have waited my blood pressure would have dropped and I would have had trouble breathing and then we would have had a really big problem. So I made the right decision but I was not happy about it. I was probably more upset then I should have been but I was really mad/sad/frustrated/and all those bad feelings.

The next day I worked even though I am taking benadryl 4 times a day. It makes me so tired and a little loopy because I am so tired. Then I went to a wedding reception. Then I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. Did I love it? Oh yes I did. I cried when the movie started. Not even kidding. I was just so happy that I was actually seeing it. I am a bit ridiculous, I know. But this has been such a big part of my life since I was 11! That's half my life people!

So the point of this story is I have bad luck... Oh well. Go see Harry if you haven't seen it yet. I am going again on Monday because I am determined to see it in the IMAX like I should have on opening night...

harry...HARRY...potter...POTTER

The end is here. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 comes out in 24 hours. I have so many emotions I can hardly stand it. Half my life I have been a Harry fan and this is the day that it all comes to an end. Some might wonder "what will Tasha do with herself?" That is yet to be determined. But somehow I think I will go on. It's what Harry would want after all.

Haha, but in all seriousness. I am EXCITED. And a little sad. But mostly so excited to see the movie which is exactly why I am not sleeping right now when I should be...

dream come true

I love life. Actually, I love my life.

Why, you may ask?
Well all those normal things: Faith and Gospel, family and friends, work, etc...

But today I mostly love my life because of the AMAZING things I have coming up:
1. Going home on wednesday for my BIRTHDAY and the 4th of July
2. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 tickets are bought--- and I am seeing it at the IMAX in 3D. Woah. I might have a heartattack during the movie. But it's all good.
3. I am seeing Paul McCartney in concert! This is the dream come true. I am so excited and can hardly believe I really am going. It's going to be the best thing EVER.

Happy day.

The Hollywood Effect

I am one of those people influenced by Hollywood. Crap. Not in the "I want to be super skinny so I am going to have an eating disorder" way. Not in the "I want to beautiful so I am going to have so much plastic surgery I don't look like I used to" way. Not in the "I want to be incredibly famous so I am going to do something stupid to get noticed" way.

No, not those ways. I am part of the group that loves fictional stories and tries to make them real in my life. Yes. So here I am admitting I have a problem. First step is admitting.

As a child I loved to play make believe. I would use my imagination and come up with different lives for me to live. Well, it wouldn't be all my imagination truly... it would all start with whatever movie I saw. That's the life I wanted and that's the life I would pretend to have. Well, until the next movie came out and I moved onto the next thing.

When I was like 5 years old I ruined the Batman VHS because I watched it so many times. I would tie a blanket around my neck and run around the house pretending to be Batman. I also would make my little sister tie a blanket around her neck at be Robin.

After Mighty Ducks I wanted to be a hockey player, which is laughable to anyone that has seen me ice skate... I would play in the kitchen just with socks or outside with roller skates.

I used to watch The Adventures of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. I then wanted to be a detective. Again, making my sister come along I would ask my parents for cases for me to solve. My favorite was when I asked my dad if he lost anything that I could help him find. He responded with "his brain." I went to my mom all sad because he wasn't playing along with me. My mom then told me to get a frozen pea out of the freezer and give it to him saying "I found your brain." My dad thought it was pretty funny luckily. :)

I made a family newspaper after I watched a movie about a reporter... I can't remember the movie now. I thought it would be so cool to be a professional skater after seeing Brink. I would run around outside or inside pretending I was doing skateboard tricks (my dad would never let me have a skateboard... see nickname post for a good explanation on why).

So there are some examples from my childhood. But that's what kids do. So I don't really think it is a problem. But it didn't stop in childhood for me...

After the Da Vinci Code I wanted to learn more about symbols. I would look for symbols and patterns in everything.

It was after seeing the Beatles movie, Yellow Submarine, that I became a huge Beatles fan.

In college I was trying to decide if I should switch my major to archeology. My dad jokingly asked if it was because I just saw the new Indian Jones movie. I said no... but truthfully it was around the same time. I have always been interested in archeology but I am not so sure if the movie didn't have a little influence on wanting to switch.

There are some examples of how Hollywood influences me... ridiculous? Maybe. Thankfully, I don't really let movies make my decisions. I haven't seen any movies about recreational therapy and I certainly didn't move to St. Louis because of Meet Me In St. Louis. But occasionally a movie will spark something in me.

So what sparked this post? Fast Five. Yep. Something in me thinks it would be so fun to drive my car like they do in that movie... Just once. (Because I would be dead after that one time) I do have control, so don't worry. I won't be speeding around corners or jumping ramps any time soon.

Random Thoughts

Today I feel like life is rushing past me. Not in a Debbie Downer sort of way. Just a fact. But I want to do something about. So I am going to put down all the thoughts of things I want to do and somehow I will make them happen. Not just the BIG dreams. But the little ridiculous things I have always wanted to do. Also, all the things I recently keep telling myself to do but just don't think I have the time. And what better way to make myself accountable then to write them publicly? Awesome.

1. Go to England.

Status: Savings account opened and money slowly adding up.

Plan: Keep saving. Keep dreaming and planning.

2. Triathlon.

Status: Training schedule made and in use. Confidence growing in the swimming area...

Plan: Stick to schedule.

3. Make a necklace out of sea shells.

Status: Sea shells sitting in bucket.

Plan: Just do it!

4. Own or make room dividers.

Status: Looked online.

Plan: Do more research. Look at actual stores.

5. Stick to my exercise/diet.

Status: Been good for 3 weeks.

Plan: Stay positive. Think about the goal.

6. Do something exciting each week.

Status: After the awesome vacation it's been sort of blah.

Plan: Look for the exciting things. Make the exciting things happen. Be creative!

7. Finish my scripture study journal.

Status: It's a work in progress.

Plan: Remember to actually study...

8. Organize my space.

Status: Sort of getting there...

Plan: Just do it! And keep it that way. :)

9. Try something I have never done.

Status: I have some fun things in the works. Hopefully they will work out.

Plan: Nail down plans. And do it!

10. Keep educating myself.

Status: Books and articles piled up...

Plan: Actually read them in my spare time. Pick things I am interested in.

Looking at this list it seems like a lot of things. But it's not like I have a time frame I have to finish all these things... Most are things I need to always be working on anyways. Plus, I feel better when I have a plan and am doing things.

On a total different note: I would just like to say that I really have the best profession in the world. My jobs are so rewarding and I absolutely love them! I work with some of the most amazing people. They brighten my day every single day. Seriously. Some times it can be hard and challenging but without fail one of my clients will do something to totally change my day around. They have the purest and sweetest spirits around. I'm so grateful for them and the opportunities I have to work with them.

Family Vacation 2011

Dolphins, Harry Potter, Rollercoasters, Magicians, Food, Beach, Lighthouse

Awesome vacation to say the least. I didn't want it to end. But atlas it did. We had such a great time though.

Things you need to know:

Metling Pot- though expensive, totally delicious and fun meal

Discovery Cove- awesome. If you ever get a chance go. If you ever get a chance to swim with dolphins just do it.

Wizarding World- AMAZING. Most magical place in the world, simply put. Go. And I will go with you.

Sea World- Has this really crazy ride. You sit on the ride then it tilts you so you are on your stomach. And the ride is like that the whole way. Weird feeling, but closest thing I have ever felt to flying.

So many firsts were crossed off my list on this vacation. And I loved it. Man, I have such an awesome family.

The Small Things Help Us Focus On The Big Picture

Today, if it wasn't for the small things I would have broken down. Things happen all the time in life that bring us down. That's a fact. But it's okay because life is still great. Reminding ourselves of that is sometimes hard. We all have worries and more worries and more worries. But we MUST keep our focus on the big picture. That, my friends, is also a fact. Having an eternal perspective isn't always the easiest thing to do, but it makes life easier. Funny how these things work.

I am going to use myself as an example. Because I am the one writing this blog... imagine that. I think that I love to be busy. And most of the time that thought is true. But I have exceeded the amount of busyness I like. I don't want this to be a post filled with complaints or pessimism. Because that's not who I want to be. Also, one of my biggest pet peeves is when people complain about being busy all the time. Because everyone is busy. Way to be a hypocrite, Tasha. So basically all you need to know is I work a lot and apparently if I am not doing something I think its time wasted. For some one that preaches a balanced life, it seems I am not the best at practicing what I preach as of late.

In my life:

focusing on being busy=exhaustion=crabby, irrational, irritable, down-on-herself Tasha

Not exactly the Tasha I want to be. This is the way I see it. We all are busy. Life is just that way. But it is what we focus on that influences our perspective and attitude. It is also how we choose to react to the busyness. So, we focus on the good things. The things that bring real joy in our lives. Focusing on the positive will help us have a positive outlook on life. That in turn will help us have a good attitude to the busyness of life.

Okay, what do we do to focus on the BIG picture or the positive things? Well, the little things of course. I don't pretend to have all the answers but here are some of my thoughts on what I can do to change my focus.

1. Prayer- Our loving Heavenly Father listens to our prayers and will answer them. Because He loves us! Just remembering this fact lightens the load. One of the most comforting scriptures is found in Matthew 11:28-30. "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." So, pray, PRAY, PRAY!

2. Scripture Study- Right along with praying is of course scripture study. This is also what I think it means to "come unto Him". Strengthening our testimonies through scripture study is vital to having a positive attitude. I don't think it is possible to come away from reading the scriptures with a bad attitude. If you do, you weren't really reading. To quote another scripture: "Feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do." (2 Nephi 32:3) So we read the scriptures and the Spirit will guide us to what we need to be doing. This can help us schedule our busy lives and be able to prioritize.

3. Listen to the promptings from the Holy Ghost. And to go along with that recognize the promptings. We are guided by the Spirit all the time. We get promptings all the time, but are we always listening or recognizing the promptings? Every time we listen and recognize a prompting from the Holy Ghost our testimony is strengthened. We also become more in tune with Spirit. This helps us recognize and listen to future promptings.

Insert personal story--- Last night I was getting ready for bed and remembered I needed to make my lunch for tomorrow. I was exhausted but thought it was a better idea to make it the night before. Heck, if I am waking up a minute before I have to! The next morning I remembered we were going on a tour of the Edwards Jones Dome for work and I could possibly get something while we were out. So I thought, "oh, I will just buy lunch as a treat". So I finish getting ready and I am about to leave when I get the impression "No, you should bring your lunch". I actually sat there and thought about it for a second. In the end I decided to just bring it. Well, we get to where we are going to sit down and eat and one of my clients brought something she had to microwave to eat. We were out and didn't have a microwave. She was stuck without a lunch and didn't have any money to buy something. So, I ended up giving her my lunch. Now this wasn't a big deal, but I truly believe I was prompted to grab my lunch at the last second for her. And from this simple act I came away with the great feeling that the Lord does send us promptings through the Holy Ghost. My testimony was strengthened with this small act that I could have possibly forgotten in a day or two. But since I realized it was a prompting it has made an impression on me that I will keep with me. I will be able to use this experience to help me look for other small whisperings of the Holy Ghost.

4. Look for the small things. I didn't know how else to title this one. But what I mean is: every day things happen to us that make us smile, make us feel good, make us feel loved, make us want to be better. These are the things we need to focus on. These are the things we need to be thinking about when we go to bed at night. These are the things that need to stand out about our day. These are the things we need to talk about. These are things that will help us live our day to day lives. Look for them, recognize them, remember them. And if you feel so inclined write them down. I think it helps to write them down because then when you are feeling down you can go back and look at them. Then you will remember those times and it will help you think of other things that make you feel good.

Insert personal small things from today--- As I look back on today I realize I can't count the number of good things that happened. Because there were so many. And I started writing this post because I was feeling way down. But atlas, I have gotten to myself. Today was a good day. Scratch that. I had a GREAT day. Some small examples: When I walked into the door at work a client got all excited and ran and hugged me. While during the tour another client hugged me just because. One client helped another client throughout the day in so many ways. Just seeing this makes me so happy. My early morning client was chipper and smiley when it was way early. My boss thanked me. Someone sincerely asked me if I was doing okay. I talked to my mom. I talked to my best friend. I read my scriptures and a talk by Elder Ballard. These just scratch the surface. There are so many things that made me feel good today. Yes, life is great.

Well, a long rant later... I feel like I just wrote a talk or something. Haha. :) But in all seriousness, this has lifted my spirits more than I could ever imagine. It is the truth the small things help us focus on the big picture. And that makes life so much happier.